We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
