I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sext me about skeletons
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
