i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
did i just pee glitter
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
