Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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