I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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