he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
