The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
