Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
