duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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