She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
