I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
