i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
