She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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