Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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