New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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