Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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