there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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