the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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