What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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