we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
