let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
