I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
