Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize