i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
