The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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