she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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