Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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