I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
