I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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