I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
