My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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