plz talk dirty to me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
