why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
