It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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