I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
