my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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