what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
