Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
