it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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