Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
