Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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