Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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