I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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