they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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