Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
