your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Be still, my beating vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
