You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
