He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
