Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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