I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
