Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
