Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
