yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
